EVIDENCE

by urbandubb this video is so tragic....



Time has a way of healing, or so they say
So why am I still left here cryin'?
Caught in these ways of emotions as people stare
I find there's no real place for me to hide
Well I've been trying in vain
Was only fooling myself
With each passing day
The pain still stays the same
Caught you in the arms of another
I've been dying everyday since then
Caught you in the arms of another
I've found out about you
Caught you in the arms of another
I've been dying everyday since then
Caught you in the arms of another
I've found out about you
What more is it that you need
Right now clearly it's not me
With every minute that I gave to you
The punches that I took from you
Why was there no warning love?
What more is it that you need
Right now clearly it's not me
Despite everything I did for you
Excused if i'm surprised
was the moment that I found out that we were through
Caught you in the arms of another
I've been dying everyday since then
Caught you in the arms of another
I've found out about you
Caught you in the arms of another
I've been dying everyday since then
Caught you in the arms of another
I've found out about you
When everything seemed alright
You turn and break my heart
Didn't I deserve your love?
It kills me inside to think of his arms
Wrapped around you now,
Is he a better lover than I?
Well I've been trying in vain
Was only fooling myself
With each passing day
The pain still stays the same
Caught you in the arms of another
I've been dying everyday since then
Caught you in the arms of another
I've found out about you
Caught you in the arms of another
I've found out about you
Caught you in the arms of another
I've found out about you
Caught you in the arms of another
I've found out about you
Caught you in the arms of another
I've found out about you
Time has a way of healing, or so they say
So why am I still left here?

Day 3

Changes are only superficial

Today, I had a fresh haircut from my old barber since I was in grade school. I also went to the local gym, and its nice to know that people still remembers me. They say that I lost weight, well I guess because I stopped going to the gym for almost 3 months and depression could be a cause. I saw new faces on the gym I hardly recognize anyone except for the trainer. I also rode a tricycle... woot! When I was on my 3rd year college about the same time that I had a car, I rarely ride a tricycle. Not because I don't want to, but I just can't fit anymore. I take up the whole space and I feel bad for the driver because he can't pick up anymore passengers because of me. But today was different, I was so excited that I just decided to pay for two people so the driver would be compensated because of my size. I walked around town, and noticed that not much has change.

day 2

day 2... just got off from an 14 hour flight from Chicago to Hong Kong, I'm just chilling at a Starbucks here at the airport. the people are nice, it just feels so good to be back in Asia. Talk about a long ass flight, they gave us 4 meals and 3 movies. All of the movies were bad except for Tyler Pery's The Family That Preys. I love the ending song, "I hope you dance" by Gladys Knightit goes like "I hope you feel small when next to the ocean... i hope you dance..." something like that..



The flight was awesome the flight attendant keeps on calling me K-ROD because I was wearing the Mets fiited cap Chris gave me for Christmas. I went to a duty free gift shop and bought some perfume (things that i never did before, because i am so frugal). The highlight of this trip so far is when I arrived here in Hongkong as I was about to check in a group of Filipinas approached me I think there was 10 of them. The first thing that they asked me was "do you work here?" and I replied whit a smile "uhm... nope". I was wearing a black shirt, black hoodie, black cap, black jeans and white running shoes. I wonder what made them think that I was an airport employee. But it was all good, the were asking me details about their flight. Which gate do they have to go to, what time do they have to board, where was the gate. So I answered them to the best of my guestimating abilities. I just hope I gave them the right instructions. I found out that they are overseas contract workers to be sent to Qatar, they hit the soft spot on my Iron Clad heart when they told me that they have'nt had a meal yet since they left Manila. They were hungry and tired and with limited resources. So I bought them something to eat from duty free before I boarded for my own flight.

My connecting flight to manila is 3 hours from now. By the way I left my college friend Mart back in my apartment in NY. He just crashed last saturday, he is also on a journey - he is trying to make it it NY, look for a job and a apartment. A journey that I myself went through. I did it with the help of amzinng people. My friend shan and ate crystal, that i know consider as family. we may not be bounded by blood but there is no other word to describe our relationship with one another. So i am paying it forward by trying to help martin out as much as I can with my limited resources and infinite perseverance. Mart helped me load my luggage at the taxi. Speaking of which, on my way to the airport - I felt so alone. I was gonna travel to the other side of the world and the only person that i could talk to was my spanish cabbie. He was cool, gave him a nice tip. I think part of being independent is being able to suck up you emotions. If you feel lonely or you got doubts and fears... suck it up, you're on your own so deal with it. I am no longer in school, I am by myself now and I just have to figure out how to make ends meet.

day 1

My flight is at 9 am. The weather channel predicts a huge snow storm will hit NYC. It seems that even mother nature is against my side. I did not sleep at all, it's about 5 in the morning and I'm making breakfast - steak and rice. Packed all my stuff already, everything is at hand... I just hope i won't crash on the Hudson river.

A Different Journey

For 4 years I've been going through journeys. It's a 12 week journey wherein I change my body. It's either I gain mass or a shred the fat. This February 2009 I am on a different kind of journey. My body will not be altered, weights will not be lifted, a single sweat won't be needed. I am going back to the Philippines, my motherland. My journey would only last 4 weeks and for that short amount of time, I'm gonna retrace my foot steps. Go back to the places where I use to hangout, the streets that I used to walk, the people I grew up with and grown apart from. I'm gonna figure out why I am the person I am now. This might sound easy for you, but if you would only walk a mile in my shoes today you would also be lost.
I don't know what answers I might get while I'm back home, because I really don't know the questions to ask. This is a very crucial point in my life, I just hit rock bottom and is just starting to climb up again. Slow and steady, I am getting there. That is why I'm gonna try to write as much as possible about my journey. Let's see what happens.